Hitch hiker

Wearing all your clothes on your back. It occurred to me, once I had set my duffle bag on the platform concrete, gazed upon the end of the track to find my train and saw myself replicating some really cheesy film, when the teen runs away from home, seen wearing any old clothes and their best gear which in my case my boyfriends shirt and my faux fur coat.

Yep, that was me yesterday. A good old fashioned hot mess, as I hitch hiked my way down to my friends with a bottle of prosecco instead of food essentials, ready to hit the night life in our local town. I think I pulled off the glam look during the night, I certainly jumped from one end of the style scale.

I’m sorry for the very blurry picture that seems to appear on wordpress? But, yes I felt this outfit. Especially because I had to pin the skirt because it was too big for me! Still can’t believe I’ve lost a stone!

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My new lifestyle

It’s been a long journey and the longest I have ever gone on a health plan, I am the best I have ever felt.

I started at the beginning of the year during a time where it was so hectic but I thought if I don’t do this now I never will. Over the course of time from then and now I have lost nearly a stone!

I first weighed in at 9 stone 4 and now I am 8 stone 8! I need to get to 8 stone 6 and I would of hit my target.

The thing is though as soon as I hit target I can’t stop there, no I don’t mean in a dangerous way. But it’s become my lifestyle now.

I’ve cut out bad lunches which seemed to be the main problem. I have become more aware of calories which is not a bad thing at all and portion sizes are crucial. I have really become educated and feel so motivated all the time. I feel more in control of what I put into my body. I really have proven to myself that I can do it.

It does amaze me how people on slimming world loose so much weight so quickly because I certainly haven’t. But I have to say my way of doing things has been my preferred way.

I’ve learnt over the years, where I had lost weight quickly, I took advantage and ate bad and thought “awh well I’ll just loose it again another time”. Health and fitness is a lifestyle change and there is no quick fix. I do tend to see many on slimming world fall back into bad habits after such a quick weight loss.

Lifestyle changes and routines really help you make those big important steps.

Sometimes if I found an upcoming week where I had free time I would go very intense with my diet and do 800 calories a day and then burn 600 of it off everyday!

This seems dangerous and it could be if you don’t educate yourself enough and get information via doctor. But this is great to loose a few pounds within a week. (I started off small first like 1,000 and then dropped it down more)

The things I was eating were already low in calories anyways. Such as spinage and kale and vegetables. I stuck to quorn meat instead of real meat.

I prefer it now anyways.

It really does involve discipline and it can be very draining so that’s why I always made sure that it was during weeks where I was free.

This can’t be a regular thing though. If you want to do this continuously which I did for 6 weeks. That is plenty! Otherwise you can become dizzy, have nausea, thin hair and constipation.

Any other time just reduce the calorie in take to 1,100/200. And DRINK 2 LITRES OF WATER. This will for sure fill you up and give you all the goodness. Detox is the key to a good health and fitness journey.

Cheat weekends are also very important. Friday and Saturday are my days to eat bad and not feel guilty. This actually helps your body guess itself and your metabolism goes into beast mode. I found I was loosing an extra pound by Sunday!

It’s all about discipline. And I always felt with diets you were missing out and “life’s too short”. That old chest nut. But if you have cheat days you are bound to stick to your diet more and feel you have something to work towards in the week.

A great way to speed up your mstobilmsim is Apple cider vinegar! Two tablespoons in your drink and knock it back 2x a day.

I am now on a 900/1,000 cal a day for a week or 2 and see if I can drop some of those stubborn pounds. I can’t wait to hit target but that doesn’t mean it’s game over.

You always have to maintain to look and feel your best.

I feel so energetic and motivated. So happy I have found a health path that works for me.

Remember always consult your doctor because they can give you the best tips and assure you what’s good for your BMI.

6 short tips

– find someone or something thst influences you. My inspiration was Kourtney Kardashian! Her legs! This can help give you an image in your head. (Bare in mind we are all different but it’s always nice to have something to aspire too)

– try out loads of different health foods to see which ones work for you. I love avocados now.

– research!!!!!

– download apps that help you keep track of your meals/ calories

– make a food diary via app or notepad!!! Hang on your wall as a reminder every time you pass it.

– always wake up a little earlier than before to make healthy breakfast and a good lunch. In time you will become much quicker at preparing foods! I’m so quick now!

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My guardian angel

It feels wrong almost to write about this stuff, but this is my space.

It’s strange actually because the very last blog post I posted before this one, the moment I pressed publish, my world shattered.

Click and then the door flies open – mum rushes in and shouts mum’s died.

Mum is my nan, I called nan mum like we all did, because she was.

The snow came the very next day and we were forced to stay in doors. She knew what was to come and she left us at her own right time. Her moment where she felt it was ok.

The snow acted like a mourning blanket. It settled for as long as it was all fresh. The pain was raw and the snow was a savour to let me be with the ones I loved.

My other two angels. They have been amazing in supporting us all together through these tough moments.

Ben and Isabel have been eachothers support as well as me and its so incredible to have that kind of love around you at all times.

This was a great hour outside the house and just being with eachother and forgetting about the pain for a moment. Mum was just outstandingly fabulous and whenever we reflect there is sadness but a whole lot of smiles and laughter. She was a character.

There was no way anyone would of said different things about nan. Everyone says the same thing about mum. How amazing, loving, caring and strong willed she was. No one knew different because she was her authentic amazing and beautiful self.

The woman who survived a war, lived in Wales all by herself without speaking English. Taught herself. Made friends by herself. Raised a daughter and then raising grandaughters.

She was so full of life and my last moments with her were so precious, me and Ben visiting her, having a lovely chat and some tea. Seeing her look over at us, smiling. She loved Ben, she loved us. She is so happy I have someone to look after me. She couldn’t of been more proud.

She idolized me and my sister. Always telling me I looked like a film star, and that I get my looks from her! Haha, she knows!😙

I know she is beaming with pride. I always think of her, and I smile. That’s the best, we were so lucky. No pain no suffering. Just peace. Deserving peace.

A striving woman.

I have her middle name but I hope I’m the double of her strength and brilliance.

I know my children have missed out on knowing a great grandmother like her but I know my mum is every bit the same.

Thanks nan for raising and having my gorgeous mum and for being you, so that mum could see what a fantastic person you were.

Happy mothers day❤

No flowers with out rain

“Smooth seas never make a good sailor”

I’ve felt a lot, a lot of lows and a lot of highs. My horoscope and palm reads have indicated that my life has no middle ground. My life moves from one extreme to the other. That’s how my life has been, with any situation, with people, family and within myself. My emotions and thought process flys on and off the radar.

Today, I felt balanced. I don’t know what come over me but I left the place where I had spent the day and realised nothing crossed my mind. It was just me, my partner and I, sitting, chatting and laughing. Family visits and warm glows within us. How happy we are and noticing the love we have and the love our family has for us.

Im just so lucky. I’m just so lucky, and at times I feel out of luck. But I am not, you always want what you can’t get, you always compare, taken each day at a time is hard but you can get there. Calculating my day and my thought process and putting a positive spin on everything.

I’ve noticed my negative thoughts have turned positive and realising I blow things way up.

I’m getting good and I’m feeling good. I’m helping myself to become more balanced despite my fate line, but I couldn’t of done it without the support my loved ones give me, everyday.

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How mindfulness gave more essence to my life

Let’s start from the beginning of my personal journey.

A levels, that’s where my love of buddhism developed. I learnt the life and the teachings of the Buddha and I became hooked on what I considered the perfect philosophy. I always wondered how to bring buddhism into my life, but you get caught up in things and become busy, you forget and move on.

My first year of university was a huge stress ride and I became very upset and felt very lonely a lot of the time. I lost a lot of meaningless friendships. Which made me feel empty, realising I was completely at a loss with people that didnt have much of grip anyway.

I felt completely lost and helpless. With perseverance, (and a lack of options anyways,) I stuck out the year and waited for the 2nd year to kick things up. They did and my soul friends, partner and family can see how well I am doing and how enthusiastic I am about things now.

Through the tough journey the people that cared and gave me love and support made me feel whole again. They gave me essence to my life.

My personality is a firey nature. Which can be good but quite self destructive. My family on both sides have terrible tempers and bipolar tendancies. My nan unfortunately passed away with cancer at such a young age during my A levels. We all knew how much of a stressed person she could be. Perhaps that was one of the things that killed her.

Buddhism has fluttered my mind through these time gaps since finishing school. To do it or not to do? How and what do I need to do to become part of it? Fleeting thoughts that occurred.

As of recently, with wider knowledge to my desired perspective, I am in fact following the practise. To help give my self understanding and perspective on how to live my life as balanced and as mindful as possible.

Life is chaos and to have your life achieving balance is a perfect outlook to have. Since following the practise I have been so much more calmer, wanting to achieve a better health. (As I have health issues when put into a stressful environment.) To have a better mind and respective nature.

I feel more positive things are circuling around me with the more positive outcomes I put into my life. Times can be hard but now I have a path to follow I will be able to gain more perspective about things.

My mother bought a happiness book by the wonderful and so relatable lady, Miss Cotton. It’s great and her little captions help set out a plan for me to talk about certain topics for each day.

“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.” – The Buddha

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My 2017 timeline

Well it was a tough start to the year in terms of dreams and goals. Me and my partner struggled to settled down in our roles of university and apprenticeship. 

We hated where we were and couldn’t see a positive end. Both worrying and teary nights, motivating ourselves to keep going and hoping things got better. 

They did! Things got better as they do, I found my interests and my ideal goals for where I want to be and for when I get out of university. My partner settled into the work place and is flying through his job! 

We had our first holiday together in Spain and this is where I become serious about fashion blogging and found workplacement with a number one global online magazine, as a style blogger. 

I discovered my strengths from journalism and what I enjoyed, thus being editing and wanting to go into video production. I found out that my goal was to progress into creative director in both documentaries (on the environment) and in fashion magazines. 

I lost a lot of friends through out the year. Randomly not speaking not seeing eachother for months, distancing because life moves on or the simple fact that people are rude. That’s fine because you realise your so much better off. 

I got upset and chased after people but realising who was there all along, made me feel like a brand new person. 

The people who have always been there and always supported me through all my achievements have been my loved ones! 

I am so greatful for a happy and healthy family and that this year we were all safe. That’s all I wish for in the new year. 

My resolutions are: 

To be more calm 

To loose a stone and to fit into a definite size 8.  

To find great work experience and to pass with a good grade in my second year. 

To pronounce my T’ s properly for broadcast. This seriously going to be the hardest one!!!

Here are my favourite moments♡

Work I produced this year…

My holidays with my amazing partner!

Coldplay concert!

My best gals

MY 20TH!

Lost some work pals this year but gained a bunch load which is great because it started to get lonely when people started to leave.

I’m ending the new year on a high note and I am feeling very content. I’m happy and lucky and healthy that’s all a girl can ask for and the same for my loved ones❤ Roll on 2018 and bring on Thailand with my man❤ AHHH elephants❤ 

HAPPY NEW YEAR💋

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Going out with a bang

Bye bye Spain. Hello spain, ugh I mean Britian… wow it’s hot! I’ve gone from one extreme to the other, which means summer clothes ain’t fading away from my blog anytime soon.

My time away was amazing and I couldn’t of asked for any better with my man. It was our first holiday and we didn’t kill eachother by the end, I think that is a success. In all seriousness, he has been perfect, for some part of the holiday I have been a little ill (stupid aircon, such a love hate relationship) and he was always there for me. I’m struggling to find the words to say how happy and lucky I am.