It feels wrong almost to write about this stuff, but this is my space.
It’s strange actually because the very last blog post I posted before this one, the moment I pressed publish, my world shattered.
Click and then the door flies open – mum rushes in and shouts mum’s died.
Mum is my nan, I called nan mum like we all did, because she was.
The snow came the very next day and we were forced to stay in doors. She knew what was to come and she left us at her own right time. Her moment where she felt it was ok.
The snow acted like a mourning blanket. It settled for as long as it was all fresh. The pain was raw and the snow was a savour to let me be with the ones I loved.
My other two angels. They have been amazing in supporting us all together through these tough moments.
Ben and Isabel have been eachothers support as well as me and its so incredible to have that kind of love around you at all times.
This was a great hour outside the house and just being with eachother and forgetting about the pain for a moment. Mum was just outstandingly fabulous and whenever we reflect there is sadness but a whole lot of smiles and laughter. She was a character.
There was no way anyone would of said different things about nan. Everyone says the same thing about mum. How amazing, loving, caring and strong willed she was. No one knew different because she was her authentic amazing and beautiful self.
The woman who survived a war, lived in Wales all by herself without speaking English. Taught herself. Made friends by herself. Raised a daughter and then raising grandaughters.
She was so full of life and my last moments with her were so precious, me and Ben visiting her, having a lovely chat and some tea. Seeing her look over at us, smiling. She loved Ben, she loved us. She is so happy I have someone to look after me. She couldn’t of been more proud.
She idolized me and my sister. Always telling me I looked like a film star, and that I get my looks from her! Haha, she knows!😙
I know she is beaming with pride. I always think of her, and I smile. That’s the best, we were so lucky. No pain no suffering. Just peace. Deserving peace.
A striving woman.
I have her middle name but I hope I’m the double of her strength and brilliance.
I know my children have missed out on knowing a great grandmother like her but I know my mum is every bit the same.
Thanks nan for raising and having my gorgeous mum and for being you, so that mum could see what a fantastic person you were.
Happy mothers day❤